This week on "I can't believe I said that"
If you sneak up on me and shoot me with a laser, I'm gonna be really pissed.
No, football does not work better with the lights off.
I know it's harsh. It's punishment. The harshness is a neccessary element.
No, I don't know why. Ask your father. (omg, how desperate was I at this moment???)
Please don't answer the phone by saying "spit it out".
Can you Mortein the kids, I'm running late.
Mother of the year eludes me once again.