Sunday, October 31, 2010

On the road again / Toilet tiggy and tooth tattoos.

This week sees me taking off to Sydney for the Penrith show, leaving FF in charge of all things domestic (God help us).   Once again, the offer of a few days work (and a change of scene) has come at the perfect moment.  After the last three days with Firstborn and Second Son, the idea of leaving on a jet plane does not exactly fill me with pangs of guilt (hee hee bad mama!!) and the money will come in handy for the Handfest, especially since I'm hoping to find a suitable dress at some stage.  I'm leaving Thursday and will be back sometime lateish on Sunday.
Friday was dental appointment day with both boys.  Second Son will need braces sometime in the next 18 months, which we were pretty much expecting so no great surprises there.  Firstborn has two small cavities that he's getting filled on Tuesday, and a strongly worded warning from the dentist to stop eating his pens.  He had two lines dead centre on his canine teeth and neither of us could work out what the hell they were, until they were examined under a strong light and found to be ink, from the pens he constantly chews on.  I'm triyng to wean him on to something less toxic like drill bits or galvanised nails.  Sigh.
Dentisting on Friday also gave Second son the opportunity to miss two lunch hours in the Principals office for playing (wait for it) Toilet Tiggy.  Seriously.  If they had nowhere else to play, they'd be sueing the Education department.   I really don't get boys.  At All.  Anyway, himself is in for a shock, cos the punishment is retroactive, so he's gonna have a long, dull Monday.  And hopefully an upgrade in his playground choices.  Dream on, mama.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


Today I embraced all things girly with my personal princess.  Complete with costume changes and much wand waving.    Much as I love my sons, the whole PowerRanger/Buzz Lightyear/Spiderman deal got old pretty quickly.  Whereas I could play Snow White for ever....

although the Witchy ensemble really did it for me.

Seriously, I would have a daughter tomorrow,  just for the chance to dress her in this....heehee, world's tiniest goth it!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Cosmic Karma/ STOP is not a suggestion.

He who gives the Ladypop on Morella Street a mouthful of abuse in the morning shall surely have a long wait in the afternoon while the Ladypop on Colwyn Street crosses 26 kids slowly in single file. 
Don't mess with us, dude.  We're like the Mafia.  What you do to one of us, you do to all of us.

Just for the record, peeps.  The big organge sign is not a fashion accessory.  And the wording on it is not a suggestion.   All we're trying to do is get your kids safely across the road.   And get home in one piece to our kids.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Move over Howie.

Just when you thought cable couldn't get any better.  Last night I watched what has to be the highlight in my viewing week.  It was called All Worked Up (I think) and it was about these guys who run a towing recovery service.  IE if you don't make your car payments, they come and truck it away.  Which is highly entertaining in and of itself, but the best part....they live in a town called Lizard Lick!!!!   SERIOUSLY!!!  
Is that or is that not the coolest name EVER?????   Before last night I thought the coolest name on the planet was Howie-in-the-Hills ('s in Florida).  But we have so got a new gold medal contender.   Lizard Lick (chortle)
God Bless America.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Return of Fatal Friday/ I only do it in the rain.

Once again, Fatal Friday has reared its ugly little head and bitten me in the ass.   I'm totally not a big fan of the end of the week at the best of times, as every hour past midday on Friday automatically drops the average drivers IQ by 20 points.  Using my failsafe "Oh-shit-back-up-kids-he's-not-gonna-stop"  method, this puts the average pick-up-parent in the same brain tank as a tub of coleslaw.  Add rain to this, and you are guaranteed the NDE (near death experience) you never wanted to have.  And to all those people who think a short sharp shock is good for your system, I invite you to join me for the next round.  Same place, same time.  Wear clean underwear.  Just in case, y'know.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's all in the timing.....

For future reference....

11pm is not a good time to tell me that second son's computer and book reader are not in his school bag.  There's nothing I can do about it till the cleaners get to school at 5am and open the classrooms.  But thanks for keeping me up all night worrying about it.  It's not like I needed the sleep.

Anastasia was the youngest daughter of the last Russian Tsar, Nicholas ll.  It is not what the doctor gives you before an operation to make you sleep.  But I love the fact that you were watching something on TV that didn't include either Japanese animae or the Worlds Dumbest Criminals.

No mother ever born wants to see her child identify unknown marks on clothing by using the scratch and sniff method.  We find it disturbing.  And vaguely nauseating.

You are not going to see the latest Resident Evil movie.  You're only ten.  I don't care if you've seen way way scarier stuff on youtube.  Actually, yes I do care.  Did your father turn the net nanny off again??

You are listening to a recording of your mother.  I'm not here right now.  Actually I am.  But I'm hiding.  If there's anything you can't live without in the next 4 minutes, please feel free to take a deep breath and yell  "MUUUUUM".  A customer service parent wil be with you shortly.  Thank you for your call.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

L.O.L. / Mortality Bites

and no, I ain't laughing, peeps.  And this is why.....a few days ago I got a call from a very dear friend to let me know that her son would be up in Briz for a few days visiting his dad.   Tanya and I go way the birth of her son to be exact.  I was hired by her to nanny for Daniel when he was four months old.  We hit it off immediately and have been very close ever since.   She's a truly loving giving person with a personality best described as "happy manic".  I adore her.  And her son.  At least I did until he decided to do the unthinkable.  He grew up.   Which is bad enough without adding the fact that the little boy who used to beg for repeated readings of "In the Night Kitchen" is now six feet four inches tall and the proud owner of a (gag)  Learners Permit.   He told me about plans for his gap year.  He used to show me the gaps in his teeth.  He sounds like he eats gravel and he does that "man sit" thing that makes all fellas look like they're lounging in front of the TV even when they're perched on a cane chair at a cafe.  He's exactly 15 months older than my son.  Which is where the LOL comes in.  I have officially redesignated it as "Little Old Lady", 'cos that's exactly how I feel.   I love Dan,  I'm thrilled that I had even a small role in producing the exceptional young man he's become.  But.  I feel old.     Proud.  But old.   Ovaltine, anyone???

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


As you may or may not know, apart from holding the title of Supreme Commander of Planet Hartwell, I also have several alter-egos,  may fave amongst them being Ladypop, Guardian of the Crossing.
Ladypop is easily recognised by her very loud costume, including her Car Repellant Wonder Vest and her Incredible Traffic Halting Sceptre of Power  (that's a stop sign, for those of you who don't do hero-speak).  Ladypop spends her days defending Colwyn Street from the evil infiltrations of the Prado Squad and their minions of doom.  (and I make sure the kids cross the road safely, too).
As a general rule, I love my job.  Over the years, I've been given fan mail, a theme song and many dandelions, courtesy of the kids who use the crossing on a daily basis.  But I will admit to having some absolute faves amongst my little travellers.   They're the Siblings.  The little brothers and sisters who walk to the gate every day  with their parents/grandparents to collect older brothers and sisters.  Seriously cute enough to melt your heart and loosen your fillings.   I get to hear about Kindy and trips to the park and visits from the Tooth Fairy.  I get shown an enormous variety of scrapes and bruises and Disney-themed bandaids.  And we share a mutual love of these

which I am known to keep a supply of in case of emergencies.  You know....bumps, bruises, sore haircuts.... (heehee, I'm a total soft touch)
Well today one of my little Sibling Specials presented me with a sack full of these little goodies for me to "share with all your kids".   Bless her, her Mama found them on special and donated them to my crossing fund.    Little Miss R, you're a total sweetie. xox

Shoot me now.

Having one of those weeks and God help me it's only Tuesday.   Firstborn is dealing with issues that I'm not going into here because they don't concern anyone else.  He's not in trouble, not sick, just dealing with stuff that makes you glad you're  not a teenager any more.  So we're having some Emo time on the home front, which has cast a black cloud of Addams Familyesque proportions over the house.  Even with the lights on.  Second son has decided that he's had enough education for 2010.  Unfortunately as there are 10 weeks left in the school calendar, it's not really his call.  Which is making for some seriously short tempered mornings @ Casa Hartwell.  To add insult to injury, his Kobo decided to call it quits this morning without warning, leaving him "bookless" (his word) and obviously unable to attend school.  I gave him directions to the library.  He was not impressed.  I hauled my ass up to Garden City and had a meltdown at Borders  and was able to get his Kobo replaced, and since they've actually come down in price, they threw in a cover/holder thingy,  which means I get my cricut toolkit case back.  So not all bad.  Just mostly.  The mother of all mothers is now castless, but is sporting the latest in black plastic-and-velcro foot boots.  And still isn't allowed to do any weightbearing for the forseeable future.  So the home nursing goes on....and on.
My house looks like a bomb hit it, my laundry has taken over the garage and Bandit had a pepsi in the park this morning, and forgot how to walk so I had to carry him home.  Do-over please......

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Things are picking up again work wise, with a couple more shoots booked in over the next 3 weeks. I've slowly but surely been revamping my can see it here. It's still a work in progress, but is easier to navigate for those of us with terminal tech-savvy issues (me included).
The boys are back to school tomorrow which has me kinda bummed, I love having them at home, although it will give me a chance to at least attempt some housework. Firstborn has done a sterling job on his TAFE application...he has knocked himself out making sure it's the best he can do. Unfortunately there are many more applicants than places, but we'll cross our fingers and hope for the best. Health wise, things are mostly good, no medication problems for the boys and nothing immediately lethal going on with me, so I actually have time to take a couple of deep breaths before the next big thing hits. How does it go?? In the event of an accident, place your head between your knees and kiss your bum goodbye. Truer words were never spoken.
Leaving you today with an oldie but gorgeous goodie of Second Son way back when....Awwww. xo

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Kings Cross

at last, a photo from Mamafest!! This is taken from the alleyway behind the hostel where we stayed, looking down towards Darlinghurst Road. Five Star all the way, baby!!


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