February 14th 2010
I have discovered how to fit everything you need to do into a 24 hour time period.
I'll wait while you get pad and pencil, you're gonna want to write this down for future reference, although if you try it too frequently it could backfire and actually catapult you through the future into a different dimension. You have been warned. OK, here it is....the recipe for stretching 24 hours into infinity.
1. Work an early shift - pre 4.30 am is advisable for maximum effect.
2. Come home and make totally unrealistic plans to go out that night with a mate.
3. Roll up to second job with bouncing eyeballs and a concrete migraine.
4. Find yourself sleep-driving home from second job. In desperation, you try the following formula. (pencils ready??)
1 double shot short black
2 red mothers
2 vodka cruisers
Eric Bana eat your heart out.....I can now fit 72 hours into 24. Try doing that without a body double. And even better...I reckon doubling the formula will actually project me into next week, leaving my drag-ass sorry this-week self to deal with two teacher interviews, five early shifts, ovaries that have grown fangs, tennis lessons, drum lessons, band practice and housework. By the time I catch up to myself, I'll be sitting pretty. How did Buzz Lightyear put it???
To Infinity and Beyond!!! See you there!!