I am not on speaking terms with Centrelink. I'm not even on friendly-type interwebbing terms with centrelink. I'm on migraine inducing head-smacking breathing-into-a-paper-bag terms with centrelink. And it's only gonna get worse. It's my own fault for having a child that insists on getting older. My optimum child-parent-relationship age is 2 years 7 months. They're portable, still reasonably cute, and they can't really argue. But I digress. Firstborn is turning sixteen in a couple of weeks. Which comes in and of itself with a whole bunch of things I don't want to think about "LEARNERS PERMIT" at this stage. But something I apparantly do need to consider is the fact that centrelink are going to erase my child from the Book of Doom or wherever they keep their records unless he applies for youth allowance. I'm good with this....he's a youth, so I guess he's allowed. The forms are online. They start by asking him to type in his secret teenage decoder word so he can start filling out his "e-claim". Firstborn looks at me blankly (happens more than you think) and gives me the all purpose I-dunno-what-that-is-and-hey-isn't-this-your-job-anyway look. Cue migraine. By the time we covered dependant children (HIS.....not mine), marital status (HIS....not mine, and BTW don't you love how they kinda expect that you'll procreate before you legally committ??) and whether or not he's entitled to a share of the house I don't have, my brains were leaking out my ears and leaving trails on my cheeks. I rang centrelink and asked for an interpreter. She asked what language. I said English. She hung up.
Friday is sports day at Cav. Firstborn will not be attending. Instead we will be enjoying a field trip to our local centrelink office. Sans gun. I'm not completely unreasonable. Yet.