Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Licence by Kelloggs/ GPS a-la Thunderdome


If you have been stuck behind a B.C.C. bus recently, you've probably seen the signs saying "YOU CAN DRIVE THIS BUS", which apparantly is the best way they have to attract future drivers. Because being stuck behind a bus for 20 minutes while you're running late for whatever definately makes me want to run out and get a bus license so I can do the same thing to others. Like bad instant karma with a little Mad Max thrown in. Although according to the list below, which I got from the official Brisbane City Council "Oh please let me drive a bus 'cos my life already totally sucks" site, you DO need to pass a test of some description before they reef open the cornflakes, hand you your glow-in-the-dark hologram and set you loose on the streets of suburbia. As stated below.....

Apply to be a Bus Operator
Step 1 - Get an information kit
You can either:

email the Bus Operator recruitment team
phone Brisbane Transport on xxx xxx xx
Step 2: Selection process
You'll complete a number of assessments that cover all elements of the Bus Operator role.

The selection process will assess your:

communication and customer service skills
literacy and numeracy skills
map reading ability
safe operation of a vehicle in accordance with Queensland Transport’s rules, regulations, policies, procedures and laws
Once your application is complete we’ll let you know the outcome within four weeks.


So, seeing as MAP READING seems to be a biggish deal amongst the Kellogs Contenders, you would imagine that by the time they graduate, get their magic decoder ring and the power to annoy car drivers on a global scale, they'd be able to find the bus stops. Or not, judging by this afternoon's effort from the guy behind the wheel of the school bus. Instead of turning the corner and stopping at the bus stop, he pulled up in the two minute parent pick up zone in the wrong street.... apparantly under the impression that one bunch of kids is very much like another, and as long as there were bums on seats everything was OK. Unlike the parade of car driving parents stuck behind him, having synchronised coronaries, thinking there was some sort of Council-Sanctioned mass kidnapping afoot. Or myself, standing in the crossing yelling "Hey, you in the bus....those are not your kids!!!!" His response being to open the window, ask where the bus stop was, and then enquire as to whether he could back up to it. Hello, Kelloggs, some of your Crunchy Nuts have escaped, and one of them's driving a school bus. Be afraid, be very afraid.

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