Scream "OW"

I've worked out a major issue in my life....I have a pre-loved spinal cord. It's the only possible explanation. While the rest of me is in pretty good working order for a not terribly athletic nearly 40, my spine is worthy of displaying in the museum of gruesome human artifacts, between the elephant man and the brain tumor with teeth. Which can only lead to one conclusion...someone else had it before me. ATM I am not capable of moving without giving my back muscles 10 minutes prior warning. And I blame whoever used my spine before I got it. I just know that they went happy-assing about, toting barges and lifting bales without a seconds thought about the next poor slob in line. Some people have no respect.