Perfection in all its flaws

How do they do it???? You know who i'm talking about....the perfect people. @#*%$ !!
The ones with 4 kids and spotless white furniture and well behaved pets and pollution free organic cars. Do they go somewhere to learn perfect, or are they some sort of organic free range mutant human from over the hills in far far away???
Whoever they are, I think they're planning a takeover and I intend to be ready for them. I've noticed a small but steady increase in the number of perfects I encounter on any given day and I'm sure that they're feeding off my many and varied imperfections like cutsie little disney inspired vampires while they grow stronger and more immune to daily disaster until one day I'll be dropping my kids to school in my pajamas while eating a Milo sandwich and they'll be lying in wait behind the healthy eating menu at the tuckshop. And they're so sneaky, dammit. One day you're yipping harmlessly to your friend about important world events and whether a cherry ripe counts as one of your 2 portions of fruit, and the next time you see her she's knitting organic bread and recycling cobwebs for habitat for humanity. I'd start a counter revolution but I've got to finish quilting banana skins before the next full moon......