I could tell you...../Pimp me medieval.

but then I'd have to kill you. Providing I don't commit present-induced hari-kiri in the meantime. FF and I had this idea that we would compete to see who could buy the most original gift this year. Himself went straight out, did something, and voila, several days later a mystery package arrives on my doorstep containing said very original gift about which I am completely clueless. Sounds easy doesn't it?? NOT if you are giving to FF.....the only thing that I've heard him even mention offhandedly has been the headgear worn by Giles Coran in an episode of the Supersizers. Ever tried to make an Elizabethan Tall hat using a bad photo of Giles with part of his head obscured by Sue Perkins as a reference point?? Not the easiest of tasks, let me assure you. Fortunately, the mother of all mothers has come to the party and is currently turning a very pimp-like trilby from K mart into the cream of medieval millinery. Or at least that's what's supposed to happen. The final countdown is approaching and if things don't go according to plan, FF will be attending Christmas Day service at St Marks wearing a picture of Giles Coran, partially obscured by Sue Perkins. Not the vision I was hoping for. Bah Humbug, anyone??