That's not how you make porridge.....

but if you're in the mood to treat yourself (or if your face is showing signs of sliding off your head) this oatmeal scrub is hard to beat...I haven't made it for years, I used to make up batches all the time when the boys were little....it's so good for your skin, I used it all over with them...they looked like little mud monsters and smelled divine!! Now bear in mind, I'm not a measuring cup girl...more a chuck-it-in-and-mix-it-up-till-it-looks-good kinda person, so you can vary this basic formula till you get a combination that works for you...

In a large bowl mix the following....
2 cups (mugs, large handfuls, whatever...) of plain rolled oats, (NOT the sachets that are already flavoured...unless you want stray dogs licking your ankles at the bus stop). Depending on how abrasive you want the texture, give the oats a medium to severe pounding with a pestle or wrap them in a tea towel and belt them with a rolling pin a few times. SO theraputic. I feel better already. Where was I?? Oh yeah, ingredients. So, after you've pounded your oats, add about half a carton of natural yoghurt (again, unflavoured....stray dogs, yeh...)which is probably about
150 grams or maybe not...the idea is to mix it into the oats until you get a thickish paste, so by the spoonful is probably the way to go here. So, are we pasted yet?? Cool..now comes the smell good bit. It actually doesn't smell too bad right now, kinda like Weetbix-au-natural, but that's not always to everyones taste so we'll move on....Depending on how sensitive your skin is, and whether you're sensitive to anything (please check this, 'cos I really don't want people leaving me comments about how they blew up to three times their normal size and had to be surgically deflated...it really defeats the purpose of making this stuff in the first place, OK) With my kids I used two drops of lavender concentrate and a teaspoon of rosewater, which is a mild astringent, and they never blew up or anything although Sebi did lick quite a bit of it off his face and hands once and produced some world beating nappies afterwards...which just goes to show that it's edible and
fibre enriched. When I make it for myself, I add a spoonful of honey, just for the smell and the ick factor, and the fact that your skin really does feel like a babies ass when you rinse it off. Lovely. Keep in mind that this mixture DOES NOT KEEP...so if you put the leftovers in the fridge and have a lost weekend, by Monday it'll be taking over the kitchen in search of nourishment. Are we relaxed yet???
Fabulous....my work here is done.