Monday, February 11, 2008

a league of our own

I'm feeling particularly aspie tonite.....after days like today it's easy to see where my boys get their more memorable personality hiccups from. I don't often stop and think about Aspergers much in regards to myself...I concentrate on the boys and their ups and downs, until suddenly I hit a situation that points a big flashing arrow at my head "BEWARE>>>PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!!!" And today was one of them. Boy howdy. I presume that eventually I'll get to an age where I can say what I'm thinking and people will just say "oh, she's a senile little old lady, don't let it bother you" but let's just say that I'm SOOOO not there yet. I feel kinda like the cuckoo in the nest. I don't think like the rest of them. Them being everyone who isn't me apparantly. I've managed to upset people without realising it, and then it's pointed out that I have a completely flawed personality and I do everything ass backwards, and seem to have spent my entire life to date rubbing people up the wrong way. So I'm stepping back. To spend time with my own kind. My tribe. My boys....all three of them. Who are completely cool with me the way I am, and don't try to reinvent me in a socially acceptable mold. I like lots of things about the world. The colours, the sounds, the feel of things. But the world as a whole doesn't seem to cope too well with me. I think I'm what's commonly referred to as socially indigestible. So I'm leaving the banquet to spend my time at the table for four in the back corner. Where aspergers syndrome and the rest of my life don't have to be mutually exclusive. Where I'm happiest. With love and thanks to Bruce Kit and Sebi.

1 comment:

Scrapsister said...

Oh Kjirsen. I'm sorry you aren't so good.I can not believe you would ever intentionally upset anyone so I know that whatever has happened must be a misunderstanding.
I see you as someone who is extremely funny, witty, kind, generous, genuine, sensitive and fiercely loyal. If those are things that are indicative of a personality disorder, than I wish I had one too.
Love Kerryn

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