Happies

Second son starting to sleep through again.
Firstborn maintaining his maths grade.
Bushwalking on the weekend.
Cooler mornings.
Music.
Good books.
Coffee.
Mates.


Things are starting to ease a bit, not before time (!!) Second son is starting to improve, slowly. I'm letting him work things out in his own time....he's still way possessive of me and my time, but he's getting used to me being around more, so things will relax as time progresses, I have no doubt. He's still starting the night with me, although he did move to his own bed of his own accord last night without too much hassle. I can't really see any other way of dealing with his anxieties, so patience is the order of the day. I'm definately feeling the effects of more sleep and less stress....I've gotten totally on top of all things domestic, and have had enough time left over for some baking, so I treated myself to a gorgeous book on cupcakes, which I intend to work my way through, cover to cover. In particular, the lemon cheesecake cupcakes make me go all Homer Simpson, drool!!!
I've made a significant dent in my editing, and my last commissioned album is in it's final stages, hopefully to be delivered by the end of April. Then I'm gonna have a month off so me and my camera can go out and play without having anyone else's agenda to deal with. It's just a month till May, which is Mothers Month....I have a list of goodies on the fridge, ranging from entirely doable to "needs a lottery win", so I'm hoping for a reasonable selection over the course of the month. Heehee, high maintenence, much??? Never mind, we all know I so deserve it!!

The reason why

Self explanatory, really....he's just not ready to do it on his own. He'll get there in the end.


Till then he just needs a little support.

Black Cloud.

I handed in my notice this morning. Second son spent last night in my bed hanging on to me like grim death. Every time I moved, he sat up and asked if I was going to work. I've let my boss down, I've let myself down and I feel down. But to keep going means to let Second Son down at a time when he desperately needs everything I can give him and then some. So, no more work for me until SS gets through high school. We'll pinch, but we'll manage. We have before, and we will again. And I'll be here 24/7 to deal with whatever comes. Which is my real job. And always will be.

heads i lose, tails you win.....

I'm stressed. Normally when I feel like this, I go out and run, hit the punching bag with a cricket bat, do something anything to get rid of the vibes. Things not being all they could be health wise, I can't. So I have to sit and think in circles, waiting for the perfect solution (which there isn't one of, by the way) to come along. I hate inactivity. It makes me feel trapped, claustrophobic. I need to move, fast, run, do something. The only bit of me that's moving at any speed is my mind and the combination of active mind and cactus body is driving me INSANE. I tried drowning out my stress with music, but nobody appreciates Blur at 3 million decibels apart from me. I have to cut down my work hours. I don't want to. I mean, I'd love the extra sleep, and Sebi would definately cope better if I had a couple of extra mornings at home, but I hate the choice being taken away from me. Which it has been to a certain extent. Health wise I can't keep up the five earlies, cos the combination of early shifts, no appetite and way too much caffeine has given me the BMI of a medium sized ten year old. Which brings with it a bunch of issues that I'm not gonna bore anyone with. So, in order to try and undo the damage, work has to go. Some of it at least. So I can give up the second job, dedicate the time to second son, (who really needs it) and return to the uber-budget lifestyle we had before I took it on. Or I can cut back my hours, hope I don't keep shrinking, manage on a little more sleep and a little less caffiene, and still have a little more to give to second son. Or I can keep going as I am till I disappear, secure in the knowledge that the extra money will do nothing to help either of the boys without me there to show them how to spend it wisely. And you wonder why I wanna run. I hate making decisions that affect other people. I always choose wrong. Even when I know it's right.

Short and Sweet/ Goin' Green/Big Bang

Sunday 21st March 2010.
I know I know, it's been a while....things kinda got on top of me for a few days, but I'm back now, almost sane and more or less in one piece. So....updates.
Work is work....don't know what else to tell you apart from the fact that I'm still there, still getting paid and still looking like a walking corpse by Thursday. Yowza. Early in the week I had a medium to large sleep deprivation induced dummy spit and was seriously thinking about kicking both jobs and taking early unemployment, when I recieved this.....


which contained this......



Heehee....fan mail!! From one of my little preppies, bless him. How cute is that?? Especially the bit where my legs look like the golden arches, lol. And he's added a set of traffic lights, obviously realising that the cars don't always stop for the day-glow figure holding the big orange STOP sign. Cute AND smart....can't beat it!!

Wednesday I dressed up as a leprechaun on the crossing to entertain the kids and piss off the parents. Heehee....they hate me telling them where to park when I'm wearing the official gear, and they hate it even more when you wear this....


and these....


So, all in all not a bad day. Melissa and I ended up leaving the men in charge of the kids and headed up to Dicey Reilly's for a late night pint with all the trihard Paddy's, which resulted in very wonky stripes on the donuts on Thursday morning, followed by breakfast Mc Grease from Golden Arches. MMMmmmm.

Firstborn had a birthday bash to attend on Saturday which left me, FF and the mother of all mothers to attend second son's drum performance at the end-of-term concert.



What can I say....apart from FABULOUS. And loud. Some things don't require an explanation.

Eye Candy Alert

Looking forward to this one.....

Edit that / The weekend that was.

March 7 2010.
I'm gonna catch up with my editing this week or die trying. My TBF pile is totally out of control so this week I'm forgoing sleep until I wade through it. Wish me luck.
We had a brilliant night out Friday, bowling, drinking, being silly. Totally what we needed, and himself had a ball which is what it was all about in the first place. Hopefully I'll get some pix posted before next march.
FF downloaded a copy of Jeaniene Frost's First Drop of Crimson which is kind of a spin off to her Night Huntress series, (which are some of my all time fave reads) onto my Kindle, so that was my Sunday done and dusted. I used to think Bones was the sexiest dead man alive, but I have changed camps. Spade can bite my neck (or anything else) anytime....I think I prefer brunettes.


Sigh.


Back into the working week as of this morning, complete with a birthday cake order just to wind me up. I think birthday cakes should be outlawed before 10am, they're too bloody hard first thing in the morning, it's unreasonable. Plus the vibes I exude pre 5am would be enough to hoodoo anyones birthday, so why take the chance??
Mick is based at Canungra ATM, completing some sort of jungle warfare training in case he gets sent back to Afghanistan, where there's so much jungle it puts the Amazon Basin to shame. And you wonder why I worry about him. Hopefully I'll get the chance to catch up this weekend so that I can hand over the shots I took just after Christmas (see what I mean about editing??) and catch up before he heads North again.

IMPORTANT THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW.

If you spray your kid's head with Mortein every morning, they don't bring lice home from school. Plus it's cheaper than a flea collar.

Santa used to be green until he was endorsed by Coke. His suit, that is, not actual Santa. Not that there is an actual Santa. Maybe you shouldn't read this out loud if you've got kids. Maybe I should have put that part at the beginning. OK, moving on.

You can't live on coffee and Mother. Not if you actually want to remember what you did with your life.

Don't thank me, I'm here to help.

Recaff / Weekender

march 4 2010
I am at the end of another 5 shift special plus some and I have fully recaffed my system thanks to a four pack of Red Bulls and two strong short blacks during the day shift. Normally I'd be on my knees by now, but I'm feeling surprisingly alive and both eyes are focusing simultaneously (for once!!) so I'm thinking I might dice with death and cut some more squares for my "Salute to Bogan" quilt which is currently in about 150 pieces all over my sewing table. School wise things seem to be fairly smooth on both fronts, although I did manage to give second son premature heart failure when I showed up for crossing duty early and found him doing detention in the principals office. Busted Custard!! Heehee, it was only for running in the lunch shed, but the look on his face when he saw me come in was worthy of mass murder at the very least. Which kinda makes me think that he's up to his neck in something antisocial but just hasn't been caught. Yet. I can wait....the big advantage to working at the school is that you hear everything that goes on, so he can't hide from me forever. Number one son is deep in assignment mode, but coping surprisingly well....two assessments were completed and graded without me even knowing about them. Not sure if that's a good thing, although he passed them both, so I'm kinda going with good thing for the moment. Time will tell if I need to ramp up my parental supervision. FF is officially much older than he was this time last year, so we are celebrating his encroaching senility with much alcohol, silly hats and a ten pin bowling night tomorrow. We are both in desperate need of a good night out sans kids, in order to blow off a little steam and be adult grade silly. Love me a good night out!!

Birthday Boy.

March 2 2010.
Today is FF's birthday. He's quite old, although not as old as me, but I look way better. He's having a party on Friday. We're going bowling and drinking. Simultaneously, which could be quite dangerous depending on where you stand. But today is about him being home with me and the boys, opening the extremely cool present we chose for him, and generally feeling loved and appreciated. 'Cos you are, babe. Just in case you were wondering. xox