Back to school

Well the new school year has sneaked up and smacked me over the head again....I don't know how I fail to see it coming, but the last weekend of the holidays always finds me knee deep in book coverings and labels, using language that you'll never find in the Heinemann dictionary (even if you have the latest edition).
This year I managed to exceed my previous standard of disorganisation by sending number one son off to school on the wrong day. Don't ask how, it's a gift. Needless to say he was less than impressed, and proceeded to complain all the way home before returning to bed in order to catch up on the sleep that he missed because his mother can't read a calendar. He's in year nine now and has got that whole antisocial teenage grunting thing down to a fine art. I'm getting used to communicating with his back, while he rummages through the fridge and occasionally I get a glimpse of his face as I drive past the bus stop, although if he sees me coming, he turns the other way so that people don't realise we're related.
So all things considered I was lucky to get first day pix. Don't you just love the expression???


"I'm SO humouring you 'cos you're a silly old woman" springs to mind.

Number two did make it to the right school on the right day, and is settling in
fine...he's at that perfect age where he still believes that I know more than him, but he's willing to try and do it himself. This year has seen the change from a toad into a prince...my cranky, prickly, stubborn boy has turned into a sweet, loving child. I adore him either way, but the prince is definately easier to live with.

Definately more Prince than toad.

Adding to school we also have drum lessons, band practice, newspaper deliveries, gym sessions and tae kwon do. How many days till Easter???

Tattoo Take Two

Well after a week of serious thought and way too many jokes about "how's your pulse", I finally revamped my design and Paul was able to ink me yesterday with no problems, apart from the gun needing re-soldering towards the end (!!!) which meant a 20 minute break in the proceedings and a peel-me-off-the-ceiling moment for me when he started again, since all my pain receptors decided to join the party during the break. But the end result is SO worth it....I'm almost reluctant to post this picture because it looks SO MUCH BETTER IRL. But, a promise is a promise.....

It's on the left hand side of my stomach (yes, a small scream OW moment is appropriate) and it fits perfectly when I wear a bikini!!
Vanity, thy home is Planet Hartwell!!

Tattooing for the recently deceased.

I am writing this sans new body art and I am pissed. After spending an afternoon at the tattoo shop, getting the design of my dreams drawn up, getting prepped, stencilled and totally buzzed, the whole thing came to a big fat nothing.
Why??
Because I have a pulse!!
Yes, you heard it right....Paul was unable to ink me because I have a strong arterial pulse close to the skin's surface and it creates too much movement for him to be able to work properly. Unlike Mick, who apparantly has been dead for six months, so was able to get his done with no problems.
I am SO disappointed, because the design I have had in my head for the past 4 years is not going to happen. Ever.
I'm going to have to look at other designs so that I can get inked somewhere where I'm slightly more dead than alive. i.e. pulseless. Is that even a word??
What stopped the afternoon sliding from crappy right into tragic was Paul's unintentional (I hope) statement of the facts.
" I'm really sorry, but this isn't going to work while you've got a pulse"
Rigor Mortis anyone???

Packing Death

Well, today is the day....Mick and I go under the needle at midday. And I am seriously concerned....I know it's not pleasant, but I can cope. I know that by tonight I'll be so smug I'll be unbearable. I also know that if I have even one mildly freaky moment, Mick will NEVER let me live it down. EVER. For the rest of my natural life, every conversation we have will contain the phrase "remember when we got those tatts and you completely lost it"
I'd donate a kidney to see the shoe on the other foot, but unfortunately Mick has absolutely no pain receptors. I think it's the combination of army life and being a Manly supporter that has somehow shut off his ability to register pain. (understandable if you've ever watched Manly play). So, I have prepared myself as best I can...I have Twilight on audio book on my MP3, I have a bag of Chupa chups and I have my pride.....hope it's enough.

More Contenders.....

for the "other men in your life' category. Kerryn has kindly sent me her top picks which include these spiffy young things.....
AKA Colin and Justin, who roam the world threatening to wear your lace curtains in a magazine shoot unless you update your kitchen. They're kinda like the Mike and Mal Leyland (heehee, remember them???) of the design world, without the atrocious flanny shirts and dodgy camera angles.

And this slightly scarier model....yes it's Gordon "F U" Ramsey
best known for his one word vocabulary and his slightly dodgy reputation with the opposite sex.
do you really want to know where he's going with that lamb?? Hmmmmm.

Thought I'd also add another of my top picks....Gok Wan, the ultimate accessory.

Here's a boy you could bring home to mother.....if she doesn't mind having her boobs (sorry - bangers) felt up before being stripped naked in a department store window.
Love him.

And the award goes to.....

Me!! Cos Renee thinks my attempts to keep house and raise kids make interesting reading, lol.
This is called The Proximity Award. "These blogs believe and invest in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers, who must choose eight more and include this cleverly written text into the body of their awards".

Ok, so seeing as I'm kind of a hermit, even cyber wise, finding eight recipients might be tricky....but I can wholeheartedly give a gong to the following people....

Kerryn, who is one of those rare people who does everything I wish I could ever get done, without being either
A) perfect enough to make me sick or
B) serious enough to give me terminal guilt.
You are a non stop source of inspiration and a reminder not to sweat the small stuff.

Kimberly alias Plant Freak from Texas, my cyber sister!! She's living my life....I swear, there's a cosmic DNA link in there somewhere!! You make me remember to laugh at all my disasters, cos you're doing them too!!

Love you both, guys!!! xoxox

Where the REAL men are......

Over the past few weeks, I have been catching up with some of the other men in my life so I thought I'd do the polite thing and introduce you.

This is Hugh....isn't he fabulous??? He lives in Dorset, growing organic vegies and raising pigs and chickens. He has a cooking show called Escape to River Cottage, and I gotta say, sometimes it sounds mighty good to me. I mean, apart from the whole rural bliss deal, the man can seriously cook....Sebi is also a big fan and the two of us regularly hole up in my room watching Hugh fearlessly stalk organic snails while we drool over the foxtel box.

As a card carrying Mistress of Disaster and enforcer of Murphy's Law, I have never felt the need to watch wholesale death and destruction a-la 007 because I can get my fill live and commercial free at Casa Hartwell. However, Bond does have one major redeeming feature...

Q is definately on my must have list. The man is seriously under appreciated. I mean think about it.... James Bond boogies around the world blowing up everything that doesn't move, sleeps with some VERY dodgy women, and gets all the credit at the end. I'd love to see how far he'd get without his helicopter-in-a-suitcase or his radioactive lint. Plus, there are some definate advantages to a man who can install knockout darts in a walking stick (or a lollipop sign, perhaps....hmmmm). He's the thinking woman's Macgyver, with better brains, personality and looks.
If anyone else out there has some contenders, shout out....I'll post some more of my top picks later. xox

Forward Planning/ Bush Week

I know it's January, I know we're still technically "post Christmas" and I don't care....we have finally sewn up our Easter plans and I'm officially counting the days!!! We were hoping to go to Rainbow Beach, but were unable to secure the booking we were after :( so we are heading South instead, over the border to Wooyung on the NSW Coast. It's right on the beach, old-style camping instead of the concrete slab/ movie night/ prison camp routine that so many places go for. We've reserved a fire drum for the evenings, and the boys are planning to sleep under the stars, weather permitting. Although my first choice for Easter would have been a return to the NFF in Canberra, I figure it's only fair to do year about, so the boys get their camping trip this time. After all the Christmas hype, soon to be followed by the whole "back to school" mess, I'll be in serious need of a little down time by Easter, so I'm really hoping that this place does the trick.
Zen by the sea.....love it!!

100 things....

Ok the deal with this is that you answer the questions and pick the five top ones that you'd most like to do....because I'm technophobic, I'll just give you the numbers for my top 5....80, 100, 56, 44, 28. Thanks to Jolene for the list!!

1. Started my own blog – Umm...look around!!
2. Slept under the stars – Yep, on the beach.
3. Played in a band – Yep, most of my teenage years, lol
4. Visited Hawaii – No, but I'd accept an invitation!!
5. Watched a meteor shower – Yep....last August (Leos are way into the universe!!)
6. Given more than I can afford to charity – Hmmm. I gave what I had, does that count??
7. Been to Disneyworld/land - Not yet, but I'm hoping!!
8. Climbed a mountain – Yep....Tibrogargan at the Glasshouses.
9. Held a praying mantis - WHY??? Eww!!
10. Sung a solo – Does Singstar count, lol??
11. Bungee jumped – not in this or any other lifetime!!
12. Visited Paris – 1986...a good year for travel!!
13. Watched lightning at sea – From my dad's lap at the beach house at Caloundra.
14. Taught myself an art from scratch – Does scrapbooking count??
15. Adopted a child – No, but I regularly abduct my mates kids for weekends, lol.
16. Had food poisoning – KFC - and it wasn't pretty!!
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty – It's on my to do list!!
18. Grown my own vegetables – Still do...in the laundry tub on the deck.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France – Nope.
20. Slept on an overnight train – Yep....Brisbane to Hughenden - 1500 kms of cane fields and mangos.
21. Had a pillow fight – Regularly - I'm the mother of sons!!
22. Hitchhiked – All over Switzerland - it's their version of public transport I think!!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – It's called a MENTAL HEALTH DAY, thank you.
24. Built a snow fort – Yep - in Norway in 1979, and it was pretty damn fine too!!
25. Held a lamb – yes
26. Gone skinny dipping – Yep
27. Run a marathon - Did a 10 km charity run, does that count??
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice – nope
29. Seen a total eclipse – yep, it was cool...all the guinea pigs went to sleep,lol.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset – All the time when Kit was a baby - early riser, y'know.
31. Hit a home run – Is that a sports thing???
32. Been on a cruise – 10th anniversary with DH.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person – Not yet, but I'm hoping!!
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors – Yep - Half Pom, half Viking, been to both!!
35. Seen an Amish community – Does "Witness" count??
36. Taught myself a new language – Nope, but Sebi can swear in three different languages...I'm SO proud!!
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied – Money doesn't really rate that highly.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person – Not yet.
39. Gone rock climbing – yep, and it was terrifying, thanks for bringing that up!!
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David – nope.
41. Sung karaoke – yes, extremely badly, lol
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt – Nope, but Sebi does a fair imitation when he's got the flu.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant – nope, but I've paid for the car behind me at a toll booth.
44. Visited Africa – Not yet.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight – Every time we go camping
46. Been transported in an ambulance – More than once....
47. Had my portrait painted – Not my scene!!
48. Gone deep sea fishing – WHY??
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person – Nope.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris – No, but Kit has!!
51. Gone scube diving or snorkeling – No, but both my boys have.
52. Kissed in the rain – Yep
53. Played in the mud – All the time as a child, and quite often as an adult, lol
54. Gone to a drive-in theater – Yep, LOVE IT!!
55. Been in a movie – Not that I know of...does CCTV count??
56. Visited the Great Wall of China – Add it to the list
57. Started a business – yep.
58. Taken a martial arts class – Yep, and won a medal in the "old and crumbly" division!!
59. Visited Russia – Nope
60. Served at a soup kitchen – Nope, but I was a foster mother at the RSPCA, lol.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies – Yep, I was a card carrying Girl guide!!
62. Gone whale watching – Not deliberately...we were at the beach and there it was!!
63. Got flowers for no reason – Yep!!
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma – nope, can't 'cos of medical history.
65. Gone sky diving – ARE YOU INSANE!!
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp – pass.
67. Bounced a check – Nope, never.
68. Flown in a helicopter – Several times...LOVED IT!!
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy – Yep
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial – Nope
71. Eaten caviar – Nope
72. Pieced a quilt – Yep...all by myself...my mum nearly died of shock!!
73. Stood in Times Square – nope
74. Toured the Everglades – nope
75. Been fired from a job – Yep
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London – yes
77. Broken a bone – Three fingers - hurt like hell too!!
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - yep.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person – nope.
80. Published a book – maybe one day!!
81. Visited the Vatican – Nope
82. Bought a brand new car – My funky green festiva!!
83. Walked in Jerusalem – Nope
84. Had my picture in the newspaper – Yes
85. Read the entire Bible – No, not yet.
86. Visited the White House – Nope
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – EWWW!!
88. Had chickenpox – I got one behind my ear - does that count??
89. Saved someone's life – nope
90. Sat on a jury – Nope
91. Met someone famous – how famous?? I met Neil Finn from Crowded House and it made my day!!
92. Joined a book club – Nope
93. Lost a loved one – My dad
94. Had a baby – Two.
95. Seen the Alamo in person – Nope
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake – nope
97. Been involved in a law suit - Nope, thankfully.
98. Owned a cell phone – Yep
99. Been stung by a bee – Yep, more than once
100. Ridden an elephant – No, but I'd try it!

Things to do....

This week I am going to haul my sorry ass back to the gym....I haven't been in almost 3 weeks, partly due to laziness and partly because of a chest infection that has taken forever to shift. So, starting tomorrow, I am making a concerted effort to go every morning, although I will have to moderate my program a bit 'cos I'm still not where I should be in the breathing department. I want to concentrate on maintaining my weight and shape pretty much where I am ATM, although I wouldn't mind toning up the rear of my front....which means taking on the stair climber - hate that machine!!!. I'm hoping that if I get into it this week, the pain factor will have dissipated by the time I get my tattoo done, so that I can still manage a basic routine while I'm healing!! I really don't have a lot of goals fitness wise....I'd like to stay under 50kg, and I'd like to regain the level of cardio fitness I was at before I got sick, although that may take a while. Mostly I want to be as fit as I can be without getting obsessive....I find myself thinking about my general health a lot more since I turned 40, and I would like to think that I can hopefully maintain my current fitness till I hit 50, or keel over on the treadmill... which ever comes first.

Resolutions

This year I'm gonna keep it simple....
I will try to get to the gym 5 days a week.
I will try not to sweat the small stuff.
I will try to read something other than the Twilight Saga (hmmm)
I will try not to retaliate when idiots give me the finger when I'm working the school crossing (no promises)

Goals for 2009
get my new tattoo
hopefully get some more work published

See....told you I was cutting back....no world domination, no plans to kidnap Jonathon Rhys Meyers. Too easy.....